{"quotes":[{"text":"There are few moments of clarity more profound than those that follow the emptying of an overcharged bladder. The world slows down, the focus sharpens, the brain comes back on line. Huge nebulous difficulties prove on close calm examination to be merely cloud giants.","author":"Tom Holt","tags":["bladder","brain","clarity","pee","problems","toilet"],"id":22662,"author_id":"Tom+Holt"},{"text":"Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –'Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet.'Great idea though, thanks, Mum.","author":"J.K. Rowling","tags":["fred-weasley","george-weasley","humor","molly-weasley","toilet"],"id":34585,"author_id":"J.K.+Rowling"},{"text":"Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.","author":"Mokokoma Mokhonoana","tags":["aphorism","aphorisms","aphorist","aphorists","ashamed","child","children","comfort-station","embarrass","embarrassed","funny","hilarious","humor","humorous","humour","joke","jokes","lavatory","loo","parent","parenthood","parents","pass","potty-training","powder-room","pride","proud","restroom","satire","shame","toilet","toilet-training","toilets","urinal","washroom"],"id":38212,"author_id":"Mokokoma+Mokhonoana"},{"text":"Nothing reminds one of how shitty inequality is more often than the fact that there are companies who make and people who use 1-ply toilet papers.","author":"Mokokoma Mokhonoana","tags":["comfort","defecation","diarrhea","digestion","equality","inequality","ingestion","money","poor","poverty","shit","shitty","suffer","suffering","toilet","toilet-paper","toilet-roll","unpleasant"],"id":88632,"author_id":"Mokokoma+Mokhonoana"},{"text":"For breakfast to be called ‘in bed’ instead of ‘on top of a bed,’ the house in which it is about to be eaten has to have at least two rooms (excluding the kitchen); (at least) three, if it has a bathroom.","author":"Mokokoma Mokhonoana","tags":["anniversary","ate","b-b","bathroom","bathrooms","bed-and-breakfast","breakfast","breakfast-in-bed","breakfasted","breakfasts","chase","court","courtship","eat","eaten","food","hit-on","hitting-on","house","houses","kitchen","kitchens","marriage","marriages","meal","meals","morning","nutrition","poor","poverty","pursue","restroom","restrooms","romance","romantic","room","rooms","toilet","toilets","wedding","weddings","woo"],"id":115200,"author_id":"Mokokoma+Mokhonoana"},{"text":"The human body is designed in accordance with the laws of nature.The British left behind their potty which goes against these laws.It induces constipation, causes fecal stagnation, enlarges the prostate, leads to infection and weakens the muscles of the lower body.","author":"Tapan Ghosh","tags":["health","healthcare","prostate","toilet"],"id":138212,"author_id":"Tapan+Ghosh"},{"text":"Seeing his daughter slowly die, coupled with his infinite sadness and misery, the clockmaker becomes a recluse to the tower of the castle and begins to build something behind closed doors, not even his daughter knows what he’s up to. For five years, she only sees him briefly at meal-times before locking himself up in the tower once again...'...Did he have a bathroom in the tower?'Yes, Jack. A big one! En-suite! Power-shower and spa! Where was I!?","author":"Jonathan Dunne","tags":["bathroom","behind-closed-doors","bereavment","castle","clock","clockmaker","death","funny","grief","hilarious","loss","mourn","mourning","potty","potty-time","power","recluse","sarcasm","shower","spa","toilet","weird"],"id":154654,"author_id":"Jonathan+Dunne"},{"text":"Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.","author":"Will Advise","tags":["compared","comparison","disposal","flushing","nothing","social","social-media","socially-acceptable","system","systems","time","toilet","waste","wasted","wasting"],"id":159949,"author_id":"Will+Advise"},{"text":"And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...There's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...If it hadn't been for his head...","author":"Bill Cosby","tags":["brother","humor","thinking","toilet"],"id":191678,"author_id":"Bill+Cosby"},{"text":"If you can market smut and toilet paper, you can market movies.","author":"Dawn Steel","tags":["you","toilet","paper "],"id":193090,"author_id":"Dawn+Steel"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":23,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}