{"quotes":[{"text":"There's a reason caveman started to develop sophisticated tools before the meteor wiped them all out: It's so they could fucking shave. Do you know how frustrating it must have been to be hunched over all night trying to start a fire only to finally succeed just to have your beard go up in flames? No aloe vera back then.","author":"Ari Gold","tags":["ari-gold","beard","funny","grooming","hilarious","humor","rules-to-rule-by","shaving","the-gold-standard"],"id":5178,"author_id":"Ari+Gold"},{"text":"I check every can of Barbasol I buy for dinosaur embryos. I haven't found any yet, as evidenced by the lack of T-Rex screams in my apartment.","author":"Ryan Lilly","tags":["apartment","barbasol","dinosaur","dinosaurs","embryo","embryology","embryonic","embryonic-stem-cell-research","funny","humorous","jurassic","jurassic-park","shave-cream","shaving","shaving-cream","shaving-humor","t-rex","trex"],"id":31571,"author_id":"Ryan+Lilly"},{"text":"I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.","author":"Libba Bray","tags":["bikini","bikini-wax","funny","girl","girls","girly","humor","humour","shaving"],"id":56672,"author_id":"Libba+Bray"},{"text":"Does that mean that if we shave all the Ob'enn they'll be nice?","author":"Howard Tayler","tags":["fur","humour","itchiness","sci-fi","shaving","suggestion"],"id":83546,"author_id":"Howard+Tayler"},{"text":"I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff.","author":"Chaz Bono","tags":["process","shaving","natural "],"id":157747,"author_id":"Chaz+Bono"},{"text":"Put a love note in his shaving kit before he leaves on a business trip.","author":"H. Jackson Brown","tags":["love","shaving","leaves "],"id":168064,"author_id":"H.+Jackson+Brown"},{"text":"Competition is the keen cutting edge of business, always shaving away at costs.","author":"Henry Ford","tags":["competition","shaving","edge "],"id":202090,"author_id":"Henry+Ford"},{"text":"Of the Seven Dwarfs, the only one who shaved was Dopey. That should tell us something about the wisdom of shaving.","author":"Tom Robbins","tags":["dopey","men","shaving"],"id":222896,"author_id":"Tom+Robbins"},{"text":"A man with a beard was always a little suspect anyway. You couldn't say you wore a beard because you liked a beard. People didn't like you for telling the truth. You had to say you had a scar so you couldn't shave.","author":"John Steinbeck","tags":["beards","shaving","truth"],"id":275579,"author_id":"John+Steinbeck"},{"text":"I had a dream about you last night. You set a timer on in the bathroom to prove how long it takes me to get ready. So I shaved your legs, made up your face and gave you lashes. An hour later you thanked God for not making you a woman.","author":"Crystal Woods","tags":["beautiful","beauty","dream","dreams","gratitude","humor","legs","makeup","men","relationships","shaving","women"],"id":362794,"author_id":"Crystal+Woods"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":12,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}