{"quotes":[{"text":"No more tubs for me.' I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. 'They make me lose all sense.'Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. 'Want to know a secret?'Sure.'It's not the bathtub, baby.'Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it.'What are you looking for?'A pea Your Majesty.'What?'You heard me.'I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch.'Getting slow in your old age.'I thought you liked it slow.'A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop.He laughed. 'Ran out of snappy comebacks?'Hush. I'm trying to think of one.","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["curran","hilarious","ilona-andrews","kate","magic"],"id":3537,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"},{"text":"We can get you a throne with snakes. I’ll stand next to you and roar at anybody who fails to grovel. Fear Kate Daniels. She is a mighty and terrible ruler. Grendel can anoint the petitioners with his vomit. It’ll be great . . .","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["curran","fun","grendel","humor","irony","kate","throne","vomit"],"id":14724,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"},{"text":"Torch strode over and stared at the fiver'What's this?'Some change for you. Buy your flunkies some decent clothes.' I dipped my fingers into the jar and smeared think fragrant paste on my face. Torch frowned, mirroring the expression on my aunt's face.'Change?'Oh, for crying out loud. 'It's money. We don't use coins as currency now, we use paper money.' He stared at me. 'I'm insulting you! I'm saying your poor, like a beggar, because your undead are in rags. I'm offering to clothe your servants for you, because you can't provide for them. Come on, how thick do you have to be?'He jerked his hand up. A jet of flame erupted from his fingers, sliding against the ward. I jerked back from the windows on instinct. The fire died. I leaned forward. 'Do you understand now?' More fire. 'What's the matter? Was that not enough money?","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["erra","ilona-andrews","kate","magic-bleeds","poor"],"id":25990,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"},{"text":"I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat.He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.”Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move?","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["curran","humor","kate"],"id":29391,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"},{"text":"She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… 'Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.' Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["curran","funny","kate"],"id":46605,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"},{"text":"A silhouette stepped toward us, and another wave of pure power ripped through the throne room. 'I'm only going to warn you once, Cronus,' said a voice, dark and dangerous. 'Get the hell away from my wife.","author":"Aimee Carter","tags":["aimee carter","cronus","goddess interrupted","goddesses","gods","hades","i-love-this","kate","kate-and-henry","titans"],"id":69146,"author_id":"Aimee+Carter"},{"text":"I spent the rest of the day in someone else's story. The rare moments that I put the book down, my own pain returned in burning stabs.","author":"Amy Plum","tags":["books","die-for-me","escape","kate","loneliness","reading"],"id":88310,"author_id":"Amy+Plum"},{"text":"IMBECILE!' the chef shouted. 'Next time why don't you just put your whole HAND in the food, hey? Yes, your whole hand, or maybe your FACE! I arrange the food on plates with care, are you understanding what I am telling you? It is part of the art form of cooking, yes? A lovely plate of food is a thing of beauty! And then you, NUMBSKULL, come along and put your fat greasy FINGERS all over my plate, and SHAKE the plate, and move my food all around the plate until it looks like pigs' vomit!'Chef Vlad!' I cried out in delight.","author":"Kenneth Oppel","tags":["funny","humor","kate","matt","skybreaker"],"id":107293,"author_id":"Kenneth+Oppel"},{"text":"It shows damn near everything. I's been hiding my breasts for so long, I half forgot I had 'em.","author":"Erin Bowman","tags":["awareness","breasts","clothing","erin-bowman","female","female-beauty","humor","kate","state-of-undress","vengeance-road"],"id":111185,"author_id":"Erin+Bowman"},{"text":"Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.","author":"Ilona Andrews","tags":["andrea","banter","friendship","kate"],"id":128860,"author_id":"Ilona+Andrews"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":38,"pages":4,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}