{"quotes":[{"text":"I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'm AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'm NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: 'I'm AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'm NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!","author":"Paddy Chayefsky","tags":["anger","classic","cynical-humor"],"id":57,"author_id":"Paddy+Chayefsky"},{"text":"It seemed perverse to some, but for all their apparent militarism the Gzilt had remained peaceful over many millenia; it was the avowedly peaceful Culture that had , within living memory, taken part in an all-out galactic war against another civilisation.","author":"Iain M. Banks","tags":["culture","cynical-humor"],"id":669,"author_id":"Iain+M.+Banks"},{"text":"Alcohol played the midwife.","author":"James Branch Cabell","tags":["alcohol","cynical-humor"],"id":54346,"author_id":"James+Branch+Cabell"},{"text":"I do not want to sound cynical or condescending, but your lips are moving, your mind unbending.","author":"Fakeer Ishavardas","tags":["cynical-humor","funny-but-true","good-thoughts","humourous","mind-body-spirit","people-nature","philosophical-humor","philosophical-musings","philosophy-of-mind","reality-check"],"id":109695,"author_id":"Fakeer+Ishavardas"},{"text":"If by ‘foe’ you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose I’d fall into the ‘friend’ category,” I replied cynically. “Although in your case, we may have to find a secret option number three.","author":"M.A. George","tags":["cynical-humor","humor","paranormal-series","sarcasm"],"id":132282,"author_id":"M.A.+George"},{"text":"-Would you wish us to invest it for you?-No, I would like you to set up a trust for dumb animals.-What kind of dumb animals do you have in mind, Miss Donahue?-Oh, stray dogs. Rats. Birds.-We could still invest it for you. Then the animals would get the income without touching the capital.-No, I don't wish to invest it. I don't want them to get rich. They might become human.","author":"Romain Gary","tags":["cynical-humor","human-nature"],"id":150356,"author_id":"Romain+Gary"},{"text":"Of course I love you. For real. I will sure come and personally meet you myself. Just to make sure you're well. When is your funeral?","author":"Fakeer Ishavardas","tags":["cynical-humor","funny-and-random","funny-humor","funny","good-and-evil","humor","humourous","jokes-and-whatever","joking-banter","laughter","life-and-sayings","love-and-sayings","people-relations","philosophical-humor","wellness-evaluation-of-lifestyle"],"id":158240,"author_id":"Fakeer+Ishavardas"},{"text":"Our town was known for two things--no, three: salted fish, expertly dyed fabrics, and corruption.","author":"Angela Elwell Hunt","tags":["cynical-humor","humor","satire"],"id":183528,"author_id":"Angela+Elwell+Hunt"},{"text":"I never feel unsafe except for when the majority is on my side.","author":"Criss Jami","tags":["beast","beliefs","caution","confidence","cynical","cynical-humor","cynicism","danger","distrust","falsehood","fighting","funny","funny-but-true","humor","insecurity","introvert","loner","majority","minority","opinions","safety","security","solitude","trust","truth","unsafe","vulnerability"],"id":193290,"author_id":"Criss+Jami"},{"text":"Just like you silly bums, I have a personal sky god. I bow to him, as you do to your airy-fairy sod. He prefers I call him Mr. NOT.","author":"Fakeer Ishavardas","tags":["civilization","cynical-humor","funny-but-true","funny-humor","god","godly","good-and-evil","humour-life","humourous","jokes","laughter-is-the-best-medicine","life-and-living","metaphysical-humour","metaphysical-truth-reality","people-nature","philosophical-humor","philosophical-musings","reality-check","self-realization","spiritual-wisdom","spirituality-vs-religion","superstition","truth-telling","wellness-evaluation-of-lifestyle","wellness-guru"],"id":202934,"author_id":"Fakeer+Ishavardas"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":25,"pages":3,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}