{"text":"On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares the property with a glossy beef burger called Tom, who has been painted by a seven year old magistrate in order to be entered for this year’s Miss East Lancashire competition. Next door to them is a Dundee cake with a lisp.","author":"St. John Morris","tags":["comedy","humour","non-sequitur","satire","surreal"],"id":33689,"author_id":"St.+John+Morris"}