{"author":"Josh Stern","author_id":"Josh+Stern","total_quotes":80,"quotes":[{"text":"Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["blood","corn","funny","humor","starch","thickener","water"],"id":1621,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["blind-date","cologne","dogs","fear","humor"],"id":9479,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"When people try to rain on your parade,...Pee on theirs.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["humor","parade","pee","rain"],"id":15417,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["ahead","humor","late","more","running","time"],"id":25338,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"If you love somebody set them free- it also works equally well if you hate somebody.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["free","hate","humor-inspirational","love"],"id":39276,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"When she says 'I've never done this before' she just means with you.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["done","humor","never","you"],"id":47085,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"At this point in my life, beaming confidence is largely a matter of mind over bladder control.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["beaming","bladder","confidence","control","humor","life","matter-mind"],"id":53614,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"It's always darkest before you're blinded by the light.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["aphorisms","blind","darkness","genius","humor","light","pithy"],"id":56717,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"Dating should really be more like furniture store commercials....I would love to' pay no interest for 6 months.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["absurd","commercials-furniture","dating","store-humor"],"id":67666,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"},{"text":"Only the good die young, the bad petite-mort.","author":"Josh Stern","tags":["bad","die","good","humor","inspirational","petite-morte","young"],"id":78608,"author_id":"Josh+Stern"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":80,"pages":8,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}