{"author":"James Lee Schmidt","author_id":"James+Lee+Schmidt","total_quotes":4,"quotes":[{"text":"A picture is worth a thousand words, but the way I paint I'm going to need to contact an editor. Even if I were to abstractly paint the phrase 'I love you,' it would be the visual equivalent of Joyce's Ulysses.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz.","author":"James Lee Schmidt","tags":["abstract","art","artist","books","edit","editor","humor","i-love-you","instagram","instagram","instaquote","james-joyce","life","literature","love","paint","painting","picture","relationships","surreal","ulysses","visual","write","writer","writing"],"id":24532,"author_id":"James+Lee+Schmidt"},{"text":"I've often wondered - where do the people who WORK at coffee shops go to meet their friends - Do they go to Conference Rooms? And if they don't meet in conference rooms, I'd like them to know I'd be willing to rent out my grandma's basement.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz.","author":"James Lee Schmidt","tags":["basement","coffee","conference-room","family","humor","life","meeting","rent","work"],"id":191150,"author_id":"James+Lee+Schmidt"},{"text":"If opportunity knocks, let it in. But with the way things are nowadays-I'd rather meet opportunity somewhere that's more public. I could meet opportunity in a coffee shop, but what if it works there? Well, I could suggest my grandma's basement.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz.","author":"James Lee Schmidt","tags":["basement","coffee","coffee-shop","family","humor","meet","meeting","opportunity","public","surreal"],"id":268703,"author_id":"James+Lee+Schmidt"},{"text":"My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz.","author":"James Lee Schmidt","tags":["absurd","age","aging","date","dating","grandma","humor","show-girl","showgirl","stripper"],"id":323091,"author_id":"James+Lee+Schmidt"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":4,"pages":1}}