{"author":"Dinah Katt","author_id":"Dinah+Katt","total_quotes":16,"quotes":[{"text":"And that’s basically the end of this story. I know it sounds unbelievable and all. And I’m not saying I can explain all the time travel parts or the magical tattoo parts. You may not even believe me. That’s okay, though. I know it happened and that’s all that counts.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["believe","rebel","storey","time-travel"],"id":6936,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"I figured I only had about two seconds to live. It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["die","live","rebel","time-travel","two-seconds"],"id":68502,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"He didn't mean I couldn't leave, he meant I couldn't leave leave. If he meant I couldn't even take out the trash and had to stay inside all the time, that would result in a vitamin D deficiency and I would get scurvy and turn pale, wither, and die and he would go to jail for child abuse. So, I don't think he meant that.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["d","rebel","time-travel","vitamin"],"id":94166,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"What happened next… well, I'm going to blame it on the fact that I was scared. And I had just flown or fallen or something through about eighty years worth of Time. Or maybe it was the beans. I farted. I farted loud enough that it echoed around the small closet, bounced off all four walls and finally escaped through the open door. At least that's what it did in my mind's eye.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["fart","rebel","time-travel"],"id":125942,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"That was when things got weird. You may have thought things were weird already, but this was uber-weird.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["rebel","time-travel","weird"],"id":155669,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"She looked mean, but I think that was her natural resting face.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["mr-ed","rebel","time-travel"],"id":164839,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"I had read once that dumb people didn't know they were dumb. They thought they were just as smart as anybody else. That was a very unsettling thought. What if I was really dumb and didn't know it?","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["dumb","rebel","smart","time-travel"],"id":210311,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["girl","rebel","shriek","time-travel"],"id":229756,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["chimp","monkey","rebel","time-travel","tutu"],"id":232603,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"},{"text":"I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.","author":"Dinah Katt","tags":["death","father","hei-lich","rebel-time-travel","snuff","spider","spit"],"id":248199,"author_id":"Dinah+Katt"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":16,"pages":2,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}