{"author":"Dave Barry","author_id":"Dave+Barry","total_quotes":106,"quotes":[{"text":"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["happy","i am","know "],"id":308,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["water","fire","universe "],"id":8584,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"Flying from the U.S. To Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["humorous"],"id":11920,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["humor"],"id":13028,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"I love the Olympics, because they enable people from all over the world to come together and--regardless of their political or cultural differences--accuse each other of cheating.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["humor","sports"],"id":16158,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"I liked making people laugh, and I decided I was an atheist early on. My Dad was all right with that. We argued about it all the time, but it was good-natured. He was the most open-minded human being I've ever known.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["argue","atheism","atheist","good-natured","humor","laughter","open-minded"],"id":18997,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"Flying from the U.S. To Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["humorous"],"id":20880,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["funny","humour","jokes"],"id":25627,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["technology","history","waiting "],"id":26339,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"},{"text":"You're only young once  but you can always be immature.","author":"Dave Barry","tags":["birthdays","age"],"id":37544,"author_id":"Dave+Barry"}],"pagination":{"page":1,"page_size":10,"total":106,"pages":11,"next":"?page=2\u0026page_size=10"}}